BLOGGED: Poppy’s Pursuit. Monday 28th November, 2016.
So.. It’s time to get real.
I’m scared.. This isn’t just as easy as “yeah let’s run the marathon”. With that comes all of my issues that try and force me NOT to do it.
I’ve been on two runs in two weeks because I honestly can’t bring myself to do it… Not because I don’t want to do it but because my mind is telling me I can’t do it.
I got a clear medical and the psychiatrist explained I was stable enough for the training. So that’s a good thing. It’s just in my own head, on a day to day basis it’s way harder then you might think.
I’ve got some amazing people around me supporting me and giving me a reality check when I need them to; it’s just sometimes on a bad day I just wish I could climb up a tree & never come down.
Leading up to this first training camp I’ve had more down days than I have good days. The down days are even harder because I’m dealing with these extra thoughts because I’m over thinking my own ability to complete this task.
The bottom line is, this marathon is meant to be helping me overcome my mental health but right now I feel like it’s making me recognise parts of my mental health I had purposely tried to ignore in the past.