Bipolar disorder is a common mental health condition that affects over 1 million people in the UK. Yet, latest research by Bipolar UK suggests that men are less likely to seek help than women. This makes them more vulnerable to substance abuse, relationship problems, financial difficulties, loneliness, isolation – and, most worrying of all suicide.
With the right treatment and support people with bipolar disorder can live fulfilling, successful and productive lives. But, research by mental health charity Bipolar UK suggests that 56% of people with bipolar are undiagnosed. Worryingly, many men still feel reluctant to talk about mental health concerns, which means those with bipolar may not always get the help they need to manage their condition. This is a concern as research shows that 75% of people who take their own lives in the UK are men, and that living with bipolar raises the risk of suicide by 20 times. These figures highlight just how crucial it is for all men to have access to the information, services and support they need to lead healthier lives.
Bipolar disorder is characterised by extreme mood swings that include manic highs and depressive lows. The condition affects everyone differently. It can be difficult to diagnose as there are many symptoms and these may be overlooked as something else. For example, according to Bipolar UK, around half a million people mistakenly think their loved one has a personality disorder. There are two types of bipolar. With Type 1 someone experiences depression and mania, with Type 2 the periods of depression are longer and there is hypomania (like mania, but milder). Both depressive and manic episodes can last for weeks, or even months. Bipolar is a tough condition that can affect every area of someone’s life, including relationships with friends and family. That’s why recognising the symptoms, getting a diagnosis and treatment is so important.
Talking About Bipolar – why we need to talk openly
We asked two men to share their stories…
Nicky Chinn, 80, is a hugely successful, award-winning songwriter and Bipolar UK ambassador. He is best known for a long list of international hits, including 70s and 80s classics such as Mickey, Lonely This Christmas, Living Next Door to Alice, Kiss You All Over, Dancing in the Dark, and more recently, Tina Turner’s Better Be Good To Me, and Live Like There’s No Tomorrow, recorded by Selena Gomez.
“It all began for me when I was 16. I was at boarding school in Bristol, when my mood dipped dramatically. In those days, very little was known about mental health. But, there was one teacher who recognised there was clearly something wrong with me. So, he sent me to the College doctor, who referred me to a Psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with depression and taken out of school. I went back to London where I saw another Psychiatrist and received the same diagnosis.
A few months later I started to behave very differently. I was spending too much money, I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t stop talking. This time I was diagnosed with manic depression – or, bipolar disorder, as it has been since 1980. I was so ill, exhausted by the mania and drained by the depression. But, I had a diagnosis. I also had a lot of shame. I couldn’t talk to my parents. They just thought I should pull myself together. So, I had no support from my family.
When I was 17 I tried to kill myself twice Looking back I realise it was a cry for help. I’ve had many suicidal thoughts since, but I never attempted it again. Even when I was very ill for a year and half, when I turned 70. What stopped me was that I wouldn’t do it to my wife and brother. I had people who cared about me and that’s very important when you have bipolar. When you’ve got mental illness, you feel inferior. That’s what stigma is all about. Thanks to therapy, it’s a long time since I felt any shame. I know many people encounter stigma in the workplace. Well, my workplace is the music business and that’s very different. You can be mentally ill, you can be an addict – and, it’s ok. It’s that kind of business. So, when people ask me about bipolar in the workplace, I can only talk about what I know.
Bipolar is a chemical imbalance. It’s genetic, but it’s also based on what happens in your upbringing. I believe my condition stems from being sent to boarding school at a very young age, when I was six. This left me with feelings of rejection and abandonment. I didn’t know that this affected me so badly until many years later, when I started having therapy. The illness can be triggered by things from the past, things that are familiar – and, I react to rejection. My elder brother had exactly the same upbringing but, because he doesn’t have mental illness, his experience is different.
I’ve been very lucky. My friends have always been very supportive and I’ve been fortunate to have access to some very good psychiatrists and private health care. When you’ve got bipolar, getting the medication right is key. I was on lithium for many years only to be told by in 1993, that it wasn’t working for me. So, I started taking valproate and lamotrigine instead, and I’ve only been ill once since. I’ve always said I don’t want my friends to understand, I just want them to accept me – and, the people that care about you, that’s what they do. A lot of people don’t have that.
Acceptance is everything, because if you accept yourself the likelihood of other people accepting you is much greater. I met my wife, Vanessa, on a blind date and within an hour she knew all about me. I knew it was love at first sight. So, I wanted her to know I had bipolar, in case she didn’t want to know. Dealing with bipolar can be difficult for those who love you. I’m a writer and yet when I’m depressed, I can’t even write my name. I sit in a room and just stare at the ceiling. I can’t even go out of the door. This can make those around you feel powerless and helpless.
When I’ve been manic, I’ve done things like buy two Rolls Royces, even though I already had one. Luckily, my friend the producer, Mickey Most, knew the dealer and asked him to cancel the order. Or, one time I bought Paul Newman’s former mansion in LA, only to realise, when I felt better, that it I didn’t really want it. I’d also do things like wake up my wife at 6 in the morning and want to go shopping. I was devasted when Vanessa passed away, but I wasn’t ill. Bipolar and grief have nothing to do with each other.
Bipolar can make you feel very lonely and isolated. That’s why therapy, especially group therapy and support groups, such as the ones run by Bipolar UK, can be incredibly helpful. When you’re sitting in a group and you’re all there for the same reason, it makes you realise you’re not alone. But, you also need support outside of the community, and that’s where having good friends and people who care around you is so vital. I couldn’t have gone it alone. The way I feel about it now is, I have bipolar, it’s who I am. If you don’t like it then fine. Get out of my life!”
Tatton Spiller, 44, is the author of The Breakdown (£10.99, Elliott & Thompson Ltd) and the founder of Simple Politics (simplepolitics.co.uk). He also works for TV and radio, including BBC Two, Sky News and has a regular slot on BBC Radio London. He has recently married his long-term partner, Katy, and together they have four children.
“I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 38. Yet, I’d been struggling with depression and other symptoms since I was 11 years old. I went to boarding school when I was 7, where I was bullied and teased for being different. From about the age of ten, I used to think about suicide a lot. When I was 11, there was one time I tried to slit my wrists with a compass. For a few days afterwards, some of the big kids used to say – “Oh, you’re going to kill yourself”. That was really tough. Research shows that up to one in five people with bipolar go on to kill themselves. So, it’s a huge issue. That’s why it’s so important that people get the right help as early as possible.
For years, I would get very depressed, not really knowing what was wrong. When I did eventually see a doctor, I was diagnosed with depression and given a prescription. I saw others doctors, but, not one even considered that I might be bipolar, because “I wasn’t depressed enough.” At one point, I was even diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), which is simply a bucket term they throw at people when they’re not sure what’s going on. I was an outpatient at hospital, until I was finally diagnosed with bipolar.
Until then, nobody ever made the connection. At one point, when I was younger, I got involved with organising all these punk shows around the country for an American band called Botch. When I finally came down from my manic high, I remember thinking – what the hell have I done? This was followed by a period of deep depression. With bipolar life can be a massive struggle. You end up doing all sorts of things when you’re manic – spending too much, coming up with all these ideas for projects and over promising things. Then when you come down, you’ve got all the wreckage to deal with, at a time when you just can’t do anything.
I used to work as a teacher and I was only diagnosed with depression, towards the end of that career. But, I never shared that at work. As a teacher, you can’t tell teenagers you’re struggling, or they’d just think you’re mental. Since I left teaching, I’m completely free to do my own thing. I’ve carved out a niche where I can be completely honest about my mental health. When I first got a bipolar diagnosis, and treatment, I attended Bipolar support groups three times, and that made a huge difference. It just felt really good to be in a room full of lovely people. Now, I do a job I love. I haven’t got a boss, I can work from home, I’m not looking for a promotion. So, there are no repercussions. I am open and honest with everyone I meet through work, and there is no stigma.
I also have a wonderful wife, Katie, who has always supported me through everything. She has without question saved my life. My children also give me lots of support with their unconditional love. I first met Katie, in a pub garden, when I was in my late 20s. There was nowhere to smoke and she said come and sit next to me. She was immediately someone I felt I could trust. So, I told her everything about within 20 minutes. We were both into the chat, so that wasn’t a problem at all – and, we’ve been together ever since.”
For more information on local support groups, online and phone support, and general advice on all aspects of bipolar disorder – visit: bipolaruk.org
Share Your Story
Mental Movement Magazine believes that authentic stories create the most powerful movements for change. Whether you’re living with bipolar disorder, supporting someone who is, or working to break down mental health stigma in your community, your experience matters.
Have you navigated the challenges of getting a bipolar diagnosis? Found ways to build supportive relationships while managing your condition? Experienced the impact of workplace stigma or discovered environments that embrace mental health openness? Your story could be the lifeline someone else needs to seek help, feel less alone, or believe that recovery is possible.
Share your story with Mental Movement Magazine today through our website or social media channels. When we speak openly about mental health challenges, we don’t just heal ourselves, we create pathways for others to find hope and support.
Bipolar Support Resources:
Immediate Support:
- NHS 111 (Option 2) – Free 24/7 mental health crisis support
- Samaritans – 116 123 (free, 24/7, confidential support)
- Crisis Text Line – Text SHOUT to 85258
Bipolar-Specific Support:
- Bipolar UK – bipolaruk.org – Information, support groups, and resources
- Bipolar UK Support Line – 0333 323 3880
- Online Support Groups – bipolaruk.org/support
- Local Support Groups – Find groups near you at bipolaruk.org/support-groups
Men’s Mental Health:
- CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) – 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight daily)
- Men’s Health Forum – menshealthforum.org.uk
- Andy’s Man Club – andysmanclub.co.uk
General Mental Health Support:
- Mind – 0300 123 3393 (information and local services)
- Rethink Mental Illness – 0300 5000 927
If you’re in immediate danger, always call 999 or go to your nearest A&E department. Please remember that you are never wasting anyones time.
