My mind is completely full up with thoughts in trying to understand. Sometimes the thoughts are positive ones and sometimes they’re not but all of them hold the same weight and confusion.
When my head is scrambled with insecurities, trust issues, the fear of not being good enough and that’s just to mention a few, it’s sometimes hard to unscramble the mess and learn how to cope. Right now I feel like if the wind blew a little too hard it would properly blow me over.
Now I’ve started running and documenting how running is making me feel I can see the difference from when I don’t run to when I do. The feeling I get when I run and even after I run is a feeling of peace, calm and accomplishment.
So to be totally honest, I’ve been writing this blog over the last few days but I now feel ready to finish it and let the world know where I am in my life.
I completed the third training camp today for the BBC Mind Of Marathon documentary I’m involved in and to be honest, I feel AMAZING.
I had some really amazing feed back from the team and just seeing everyone else involved made me feel really good about myself, so good about myself that I decided to publicly announce on my Instagram and Facebook that I am doing this documentary and the reasons behind why I am doing it (also telling all that I am writing these blogs)! Clearly you guys who read my blogs will know I’m doing the documentary but I hadn’t gone public on my socials because I was scared about how people would react… but honestly, who cares? I’ve got mental health issues and they make me who I am! Poppy!
So I will be open with my mental health and how it makes me feel EVERYDAY and I promise to be as honest as I can in my blogs and in this documentary.
Please stick with me, I will be running the marathon with my two feet but I will be running the marathon with all your love and support in my heart too.