Liam’s Story: The Emotional Cost of Being Bullied Through School

posted by Liam Baines April 5, 2017
bullying

Liam’s Story: Entry 1. “The Emotional Cost of Being Bullied Through School”

“Hey, guys!

So I thought my first post on this site should be a post about my mental health story, just to explain my mental health, and what I’ve been through.

I first felt anxiety and panic attacks taking over my life in high school, the early months of 2012. High school was tough. I got bullied quite a bit, about my appearance, my speech (I have a speech problem) and loads of other things. High school was tough, it was very tough. I found it hard to get through my GCSE’s, I was having panic attacks every single day, but I didn’t tell anyone. Why? Because I was scared. Scared of being judged, scared of people saying “it’s just nerves”. I knew it wasn’t just any ordinary nerves, this was something else.

I first felt depression in 2014. I was canceling plans due to me being scared of going out in case people would say stuff to me, scared if people were judging me and such – turns out this is my social anxiety. That’s when I was getting really depressed. I wouldn’t go out with the very few friends I had, I would just sit in my room, watch YouTube and play games as soon as I got home, and just repeat that every day basically.

Once high school finished, my anxiety, depression and panic attacks didn’t get any better. I was praying they did. I remember, the summer after my GCSE’s were boring. I didn’t do much. I was basically at home most days, like usual. I was dreading getting my results, the day came and I had a panic attack walking to school to pick them up. I got pretty decent results, wasn’t expecting as good as I got, due to my anxiety just making revision really hard to do, and the exams even worse.

College came so fast! I was enjoying it at first, training to be a chef, doing what I love – cooking! It slowly got too much and It was a battle every day, some days just getting out of bed to go to college was a battle. There was not much bullying in college, just a few idiots, but it was better than high school in terms of bullying.

My two years in college went extremely fast, I still didn’t tell a single soul about my struggle with anxiety, depression and such. It was getting close to needing to open up. I got a job in April 2016. I enjoyed it at first, finished college and was doing about 20 hours a week, so it was all good. My mental health slowly got worse, though. I was hating my job after two months. I was having breakdown after breakdown after most shifts.

I ended up going to my doctor in September, cried to him about my struggle. I then got an assessment, in November? (I think!) and got on the list for CBT. I ended up quitting my job in December, it felt like as soon as I opened up about it to my doctor, it got worse for some reason. I started therapy in the first week of January. It was hard, but it also made me feel like this is such a milestone, it made motivated me. My therapist was lovely, however in the 4th week of having therapy every week, I relapsed with my self-inflicting behaviors, my therapist got me an appointment with my GP, I got prescribed Fluoxetine and was moved up to into a higher intensity CBT after my 6th session! Now, two sessions into higher intensity, finding out I have BDD, and seven weeks on the medication (I think seven.. I tend to lose count!) I feel like the therapy is working a bit, but medication not so much. Still, it’s early days.”

If you are being bullied at school or know someone who is, you can find out more information on how to get support and help through the following organisations: 

For Parents:

  • Bullying UK – Part of Family Lives; Listening, supportive and non-judgemental
  • Empowering Parents – Child Behaviour Help
  • Ditch The Label – “the largest anti-bullying support hub in the world. Whether you’re being bullied or are bullying others, we understand and we are here for you.”
  • Kidscape – Preventing Bullying, Protecting Lives
  • NHS – Bullying – Advice for Parents

For Children/Young People:

  • Ditch The Label – “the largest anti-bullying support hub in the world. Whether you’re being bullied or are bullying others, we understand and we are here for you.”
  • National Bullying Helpline – Help for kids who are being bullied, Support line 0845 22 55 787
  • Stomp Out Bullying – Help Chatline for 13-24 year olds (USA only)
  • Relate – Help and advice if you are being bullied at school
  • Samaritans – If you are feeling suicidal as a result of bullying, please call the Samaritans immediately on 111 123 (UK)

 

Liam Baines
I'm an 19 year old, who is blogging to raise awareness on mental health and beat the stigma. I am also a media volunteer for time to change!

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2 Comments

TheOriginalPhoenix April 5, 2017 at 5:07 pm

Nice post! I’m not too familiar with your mental health so this was really interesting for me to read. 🙂 Stay strong, Liam! You’ve got this fight! (I’ve been bullied too. It sucks.)

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Merry April 16, 2017 at 3:12 am

Love to hear people’s stories and how honest Liam is. Hope all is better now! 🙂

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